Dear Ashlee,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me, outside of your office, and I saw you sit on my father.
I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand how awful you are.
I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory.
You should also know that I will always remember the pep talks and i'm off to lead a life as a lemon.
GO MILK A COW,
Samantha